THIS IS REALLY CUTE!!!
Keys To the Cuisinart
I saw a chef on television
Make a dish called Wiener Schnitzel
And what he had to tell us
Was a time consuming ritual
Most of the work he'd done before
He ever got on the air
For he pulled out a tray of pork loins
So thin they would almost tear
He told us they come one inch thick
And he'd pounded them down to a quarter
We never got to see him clobber
The loins to make them shorter
I went out and bought the boneless chops
And yes they were one inch thick
By the time I pounded one of them
The violence made me sick
It also took me seven minutes
To make it a quarter inch
And I had five more loins to pound
I was really in a pinch
I put the loins in zip lock bags
I didn't have to go very far
For I lay them down in the drive-way
And backed over them with the car
To my delight, the meat smashed down
In the time it takes to sneeze
And from that day on I've used my car
As a prep-chef if you please
For in a craze of creativity
I thought of other foods
My sturdy Michelin tires
Could turn into processed goods
Graham crackers smash up nicely
Into crumbs for chocolate pies
Nuts can be chopped when needed
And tough meats can be tenderized
The bottom line is simple
And I've taken it to heart
God bless my little SUV
It's replaced my Cuisinart
Apples
Protects your heart
Prevents constipation
Blocks diarrhea
Improves lung capacity
Cushions joints
Apricots
Combats cancer
Controls blood pressure
Saves your eyesight
Shields against Alzheimer's
Slows aging process
Artichokes
Aids digestion
Lowers cholesterol
Protects your heart
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Stabilizes blood sugar
Guards against liver disease
Avocados
Battles diabetes
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
Controls blood pressure
Smoothes skin
Bananas
Protects your heart
Quiets a cough
Strengthens bones
Controls blood pressure
Blocks diarrhea
Beans
Prevents constipation
Helps hemorrhoids
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
Stabilizes blood sugar
Beets
Controls blood pressure
Combats cancer
Strengthens bones
Protects your heart
Aids weight loss
Blueberries
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Stabilizes blood sugar
Boosts memory
Prevents constipation
Broccoli
Strengthens bones
Saves eyesight
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Controls blood pressure
Cabbage
Combats cancer
Prevents constipation
Promotes weight loss
Protects your heart
Helps hemorrhoids
Cantaloupe
Saves eyesight
Controls blood pressure
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
Supports immune system
Carrots
Saves eyesight
Protects your heart
Prevents constipation
Combats cancer
Promotes weight loss
Cauliflower
Protects against Prostate Cancer
Combats Breast Cancer
Strengthens bones
Banishes bruises
Guards against heart disease
Cherries
Protects your heart
Combats Cancer
Ends insomnia
Slows aging process
Shields against Alzheimer's
Chestnuts
Promotes weight loss
Protects your heart
Lowers cholesterol
Combats Cancer
Controls blood pressure
Chili Peppers
Aids digestion
Soothes sore throat
Clears sinuses
Combats Cancer
Boosts immune system
Figs
Promotes weight loss
Helps stops strokes
Lowers cholesterol
Combats Cancer
Controls blood pressure
Fish
Protects your heart
Boosts memory
Protects your heart
Combats Cancer
Supports immune system
Flax
Aids digestion
Battles diabetes
Protects your heart
Improves mental health
Boosts immune system
Garlic
Lowers cholesterol
Controls blood pressure
Combats cancer
Kills bacteria
Fights fungus
Grapefruit
Protects against heart attacks
Promotes Weight loss
Helps stops strokes
Combats Prostate Cancer
Lowers cholesterol
Grapes
Saves eyesight
Conquers kidney stones
Combats cancer
Enhances blood flow
Protects your heart
Green Tea
Combats cancer
Protects your heart Helps s
Stops strokes
Promotes Weight loss
Kills bacteria
Honey
Heals wounds
Aids digestion
Guards against ulcers
Increases energy
Fights allergies
Lemons
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Controls blood pressure
Smoothes skin
Stops scurvy
Limes
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Controls blood pressure
Smoothes skin
Stops scurvy
Mangoes
Combats cancer
Boosts memory
Regulates thyroid a
Aids digestion
Shields against Alzheimer's
Mushrooms
Controls blood pressure
Lowers cholesterol
Kills bacteria
Combats cancer
Strengthens bones
Oats
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
Battles diabetes p
Prevents constipation
Smoothes skin
Olive Oil
Protects your heart
Promotes Weight loss
Combats cancer
Battles diabetes
Smoothes skin
Onions
Reduce risk of heart attack
Combats cancer
Kills bacteria
Lowers cholesterol
Fights fungus
Oranges
Supports immune systems
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Straightens respiration
Peaches
Prevents constipation
Combats cancer
Helps stops strokes a
Aids digestion
Helps hemorrhoids
Peanuts
Protects against heart disease
Promotes Weight loss
Combats Prostate Cancer
Lowers cholesterol
Aggravates diverticulitis
Pineapple
Strengthens bones
Relieves colds
Aids digestion
Dissolves warts
Blocks diarrhea
Prunes
Slows aging process
Prevents constipation
Boosts memory
Lowers cholesterol
Protects against heart disease
Rice
Protects your heart
Battles diabetes
Conquers kidney stones
Combats cancer
Helps stops strokes
Strawberries
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Boosts memory
Calms stress
Sweet Potatoes
Saves your eyesight
Lifts mood
Combats cancer
Strengthens bones
Tomatoes
Protects prostate
Combats cancer
Lowers cholesterol
Protects your heart
Walnuts
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
Boosts memory
Lifts mood
Protects against heart disease
Water
Promotes Weight loss
Combats cancer
Conquers kidney stones
Smoothes skin
Watermelon
Protects prostate
Yields: 6 – 8 people
2 lbs. Hamburger
1 Envelope dry onion soup mix
2lbs. tator tots
2 cans mushroom soup
1 Pint sour cream
Brown hamburger and place in a 10" x 14" baking dish. Sprinkle soup mix over meat, then place one layer of tater tots on top of that. Freeze. Thaw (it doesn't have to be completely thawed). Mix soup and sour cream together, pour over tater tots.
Bake at 350 degrees for one hour, stirring after 30 minutes.
9. The piles are so high in the living room that you once lost
your 3-year-old for half a day.
8. Your extensive, cross-filed ingredient/recipe/author/magazine
index system has already brought a half dozen computers to
their knees.
7. You tell the family you'd like to make a correction to last
night's meal, and you regret any inconvenience the error may
have caused.
6. You find yourself agonizing over which wine to serve with
baby food.
5. With most coupons worth 1/100 of a penny, you've just
become richer than Bill Gates.
4. When asked to fry an egg, you go into brain-lock as you
frantically try to recall which room has the stack that has
the issue of the magazine with that recipe in it.
3. You know more about Bobby Flay than you do about George
Bush.
2. There are more pictures of Emeril in your house than of your
kids.
And the #1 Sign You Subscribe to Too Many Food Magazines:
1. You read them all cover-to-cover, so with no time left to
actually cook any of the recipes, you end up just licking the
pictures. Foodie
This is for anyone who
needs a breakdown of carbs., calories, etc. of individual ingredient's in recipes and some brand name foods..
www.calorieking.com
www.nutritiondata.com
They have been a great help to me and I hope for you!
Just a tip I find makes life a little easier.
The first step is time consuming, but; it's a breeze after that.
On my computer I list everything I shop for, grocery, drug store items etc. I group everything into categories and sometimes subcategories and don't forget miscellaneous. The program I use is Quattro Pro 10, but; you can use any program you'd like. Once this is done, all you have to do is highlight what you need to purchase and print or print and check off items and it's so easy to add or delete items as your needs change. You could put a list by your fridge, pantry, etc. Get the family in on this and never, okay almost never run out of the products you need.
I hope this tip is helpful.
Been troubled with itchy skin? This oatmeal soak works for this, without clogging up the drain.
2 cups oatmeal
1 can evaporated milk
10 drops of tea tree oil
3 Tablespoons honey
Cook oatmeal in a pan of water for several minutes then drain the liquid into a large jar. Add at least one can of evaporated milk (milk worked for Cleopatra, why not us?), 10 drops of tee tree oil, and 3 Tablespoons of honey. Pour at least 1/2 cup of this into your bathwater and soak your itches away. Store remaining bath soak in the refrigerator.
There is a site called about.com that has information on almost every subject.
I found this today, video tips on cooking and beverages.
Check it out.
Just copy and paste.
http://video.about.com/food.htm
I found this poem online no one seems to know you wrote it.
Since we all enjoy food I'm sure some of us have had to do battle with the bulge. This explains why.
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the
Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli,
cauliflower, and spinach, green and yellow and red
vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would
live long and healthy lives.
Then, using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and
Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Kreme Donuts. And Satan
said, "You want chocolate with that?"
And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as
you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10
pounds. And Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might
keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan
brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar
from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from
size 6 to size 14.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan
presented Thousand-Island dressing, buttery croutons
and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman
unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart-healthy
vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And
Satan brought forth deep-fried fish and chicken-fried
steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man
gained more weight and his cholesterol went through
the roof.
God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it
"Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then
created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."
God then brought forth running shoes so that His
children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave
cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have
to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman
laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and
gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in
fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off
the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into
chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume
fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan
created McDonald's and its $ .99 double cheeseburger.
Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man
replied, "Yes! And super-size them!" And Satan said,
"It is good."
And Man went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple-bypass surgery.
Then Satan created HMOs
When I buy strawberries I cut them up and put them in a covered container with Splenda (It keeps longer) there was about 1 cup left. I had made hot air popcorn a few days before and had just a about 1 1/2 cups left. So I looked at the popcorn and then the strawberries and thought. Popcorn good. Strawberries good. Why not! And Strawberry Popcorn was born. LOL
1 1/2 cups popcorn (plain)
1 cup strawberries with syrup, the syrup is made by the strawberries sitting in the container with the Splenda you can use any sweetener you prefer.
Put popcorn in a bowl and pour strawberries over it and stir.
Enjoy
I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly, "So which six items would you like to buy?"